The Early Years
As a child, I was pretty much raised in church. Sometimes, I think I was just born going to church....wait, I was! I had a great parents and grandparents that made sure I was there every Sunday. I was a kid always eager to go. I remember things like leaving my beloved teddy bear in the nursery one evening after church, and Dad having to go retrieve him. I remember making great friends in Sunday School and my mom being my first teacher for children's choir. I could go on and on about the things I remember, but there is one important moment that trumps them all.
I became a new person at the age of seven. I vividly remember playing in my room one night and thinking to myself, "you know, I really want to ask the Lord to save me." Then and there I kneeled at my bed and prayed to the Lord asking for forgiveness and salvation. That was all it took. Sincere. Short and sweet. In the world's eyes I wasn't a horrible person, but I knew the in the eyes of the Lord I was a sinner and was lost. My soul needed him.
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord. -Romans 6:23
For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and are
justified by his grace, as a gift, through the redemption that is
in Christ Jesus. -Romans 3:23-24
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people.
-Titus 2:11
A few weeks later, after going through what was then called a "new members" class and learning more about what it meant to follow Jesus and what it meant for him to pay the price for my sin, I was baptized during a sunday morning service. As a believer, after salvation, it is basically the next step. Baptism is symbolic of dying to your old self and being made new in Christ.
A few years later, around age 9 my beloved Granddaddy passed away from leukemia. No one, no child, wants to see that happen to a grandparent or anyone for that matter. It wasn't pleasant, but I knew that Jesus loved me and because of that He would take care of me and my family, and our saddened broken hearts. It was true. He did care for us, and our hearts slowly healed and eventually rejoiced. Why? Grandaddy was making friends in Heaven and worshipping with Jesus! He had the best end of the deal.
The Teenage Years
Moving forward, the middle school years were great for me! I was super involved in my youth group. I was busy doing things like learning how to run a sound board, learning how to adjust lighting, and singing on the student praise team. Eventually, I was also involved in student leadership. Mission trips and trips to summer camp at Windermere also began. I loved it all. I had several friends at school through, volleyball and softball and other clubs, but my best friends were those that I knew from church.
Entering High School years was just as enjoyable for me. More of the same...mission trips on spring break and camps in the summer...the occasional weekend event throughout the semester. Some of the best youth group memories? War Games! Praise Team practices! The Trash can game! Life was great. I was still learning about God and his word weekly and was enjoying serving at any opportunity I could.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love,
any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,
complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love,
being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit,
but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let
each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests
of others. -Phillipians 2:1-4
I spent the summer between high school and college working for the North American Mission Board and a student missionary in San Antonio, Texas. Our job was to engage children in apartment complexes around the city in summer Bible Clubs. Think....VBS everyday, all summer. Let's just say, I learned a lot about a lot that summer.
The College Years
As a senior in high school I had dreams of going into a career in Fashion Merchandising. I had dreams of New York! Fast forward to to the end of the year, and plans drastically changed. I was all set to go to Kansas State. I would pursue my passion for fashion and life would be great! However, the Lord had different plans. I remember not feeling at ease with going to K-State, but didn't fully know why. I would miss my family and friends at home, obviously, but that wasn't it.
Quickly, I was redirected to a school close to home. I thought maybe I was going to switch careers and go into something like social work. I started classes at Wichita State and 3 1/2 years later graduated with a degree in Psychology. During these years, I was blessed to get a job working at the Wichita State Child Development Center! Little did I know, that this job would shape my thoughts, my ideas, my passions, my education, and my dreams for the rest of my life. I fell in love with preschool children, and have not looked back since. Thank you, Lord for that! Also during this time, I spent what free time I had changing roles when it came to youth group. No longer was I a participant, but a leader. It was then that I began to learn what it meant and see what it looked like to invest in youth. This was also life-changing! My heart was consumed by a love for them as well.
During college, I also took a mission trip with the International Mission Board to Ghana, West Africa. This was an interesting adventure, and too long of a story to tell here. The best result from the trip? I am now roommates with one of the girls from the trip. That's right, years after this trip to Ghana, Bri and I are roomies! (more on that in minute.)
"All authority in heaven and on earth has been give to me.
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing
them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of
the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have
commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to
the end of the age." -Matthew 28:18-20
I also had the amazing opportunity to intern in Children's Ministry at First Baptist Mulvane! One of the greatest experiences ever!
And then an event that will forever lie in the deepest parts of my heart occurred. Long story short, things were happening at the church I attended. A group of people decided to take over and take control. Basically, they turned the church upside down. I won't go into all details, but the pastor was forced to resign, sneaky stuff was going on, and my Dad and I both lost our jobs at the church. Undoubtedly, this was one of the darkest times in my life. To be honest, spiritually and in my heart I was a train wreck. I was crushed, confused, angry and broken...mainly because I knew that the picture of God's church painted in scripture was being completely ignored. I lost trust in the leaders of my church, and was losing my trust in the church as a whole. To ruin something so extremely close to my heart, was unfathomable. I tried to hang on there and stay somewhat attached for the sake of the youth I worked with, and for the sake that it was the church I grew up in. However, I eventually had to let go. My heart couldn't handle it any longer. My parents had moved on to a new church, and I needed to as well. I needed to heal.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."- 2 Corinthians 12:9-13
After College
I had a job right out of college. I wasn't happy with it at all. I began to think about and consider other options. I had never been one to even think that I would want to go to grad school. Surprise! One just random thought, or so I thought, and the Lord ran with it, so to speak. He knew what was ahead, I just didn't. I began to look at programs and soon found myself applying to the University of Alabama. Before I knew it, I had been accepted and after a string of crazy events found out that I had an assistantship that would not only pay me to work, but would cover my entire out-of-state tuition for the program. Clearly, the Lord had a hand in this. August of 2011, I packed my bags and a trailer and moved some 800 miles away from everything that resembled home. And that thing about the girl from my team in Africa...well, she just happened to live in Birmingham. Bri and I have been roomies for almost 2 years now! Crazy and such a blessing! Thank you, Lord for this! He truly does go before us and provides!
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future
and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me,
and I will hear you. -Jeremiah 29:11-12
Currently
I've been living in Birmingham for approaching approaching 2 years now. (With the exception of this past summer, when I was so blessed to have another opportunity to intern at FBC Mulvane; this time with youth ministry!)
I am now in my last semester of Grad School and am looking forward to the future. Grad school has not been the best experience of my life, but the challenges and struggles it has brought have made me consistently lean on the truths and the life I have through Jesus. Many a night do I fall asleep, crying out to the Lord for patience, for guidance, for strength, for motivation...sometimes just laying all of my frustrations out. With my hands held open, I have had to completely and fully surrender every piece of my heart and my life to the Lord during these past few years. I've realized that while I may be in grad school in AL, God has had me here for several other important reasons. I've grown immensely in both my faith and my life.
Just in the past several months, I've randomly met new people, and joined an amazing small group that challenges me, encourages me and provides some fun friendships! I know my time here has a purpose. I am confident in this, because at different times I'm able to see glimpses of the Lord's hand and his answers to my prayers! Additionally, I am hugely thankful for the church I attend here, and the many blessings and encouragements it has provided!
I do not know how much longer I will be in Birmingham. Truthfully, I had every intention to be here for two years of grad school and then head off to the exciting city of Dallas, TX. Truth is, those were my plans. Truth is, the Lord may have something entirely different in store, and I've come to understand and accept that. I'm living life, trying everyday to let God lead and to be willing to follow. I'm fully believe that His ways are better than mine. He is the author and creator of both me and my story.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are
your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways
than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
-Isaiah 55:8-9
At the end of each and every day I am still a self-righteous, guilty sinner who has been redeemed and renewed by the precious blood of Jesus on the cross and his overwhelming love and compassion for my soul. He's been my rock through heartbreak, trials, and celebrations. Friends and family are great supports, but the Lord is whom my soul shall seek for everything I need. In him, I am made whole. In him, I lack nothing. My goal daily is to passionately pursue the Lord, as He has done so very generously with me.
Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places
by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us
through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great
priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in
full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil
conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast
the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised
is faithful. -Hebrews 10:19-23
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!!!
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